


and to never utter a word

by allwedoisdrive



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, Lexi Howard-centric, Unrequited, unrequited love's a BITCH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27949499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allwedoisdrive/pseuds/allwedoisdrive
Summary: Lexi's been transparent her whole life. Her feelings, however, are not.
Relationships: Rue Bennett & Jules Vaughn, Rue Bennett & Lexi Howard, Rue Bennett/Lexi Howard
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	and to never utter a word

Pre-school was a good time for Lexi. 

All she cared about were her embarrassing parents (but at least then they still loved each other) and fun birthday parties and her cool older sister (only a year older, but so much prettier, so much better, so much more-)’

Pre-school was where she met Rue. Rue has always been her favorite person in the world. 

In elementary school, she shared that spot with with Cassie and Taylor Swift. In middle school, she said it was Tom Holland because that’s what everyone else was saying. (To be fair, she did like the dark curly hair and the wit. But she never really saw the appeal). In high school, nobody asked.

But Lexi has always been a liar, and Rue has always been the most beautiful person in sight. (It wasn’t a problem until suddenly it was.)

Lexi was good at lying to herself too. She told herself it didn’t hurt how Cassie was the sun in everyone’s solar system. Her mom was the earth, and she revolved around vibrance and warmth. Lexi was a moon, and all she did was reflect Cassie’s light. Sadly, contrary to popular belief, you can say “you’re fine” all you want, and you still won’t begin to believe it.

She lied to her mom to protect Cassie in high school. She had stuffed pillows in her bed all of freshman year to hide under Cassie’s covers. It was funny how she’d always check Cassie’s bed, and never Lexi’s.

(You can’t cry if you’re busy laughing.) 

Rue was the only person who cared enough to ask. Lexi lied anyways, but it was the thought that counts. Rue really did used to be a good friend. A brilliant one, actually. Rue was patient and funny and reminded Lexi of everything she ever wanted to be. And there are traces of pre-kindergarten Rue to freshman year Rue that come out sometimes. 

Rue even texted her once, apologizing for being a bad friend and asking to make it up to her. (She brought Jules along though, and Lexi begged herself to not be jealous.) 

Rue lies too, though.

Rue spends sophomore year on drugs and junior year in love.

And if that’s what makes Rue feel better and stay sober, who is Lexi to stop and complain? There is nothing Lexi wants more to be seen again. She misses roller-blading and spending time doing nothing. 

She misses sitting on her bedroom couch with her legs on Rue’s lap and her fears on the floor.

But there’s nothing Rue wants more than Jules.

So if Rue asks if it’s okay if she skips a hang out or two to bike with Jules, or apologizes for yelling, or takes Lexi apart piece by piece?

That’s okay.

(Lexi’s such a fucking liar.)


End file.
